|
What is Codependency?
These patterns and characteristics are offered
as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they
begin to understand co-dependency and may aid those who have been in recovery awhile in
determining what traits still need attention and transformation.
DENIAL PATTERNS:
—Codependents have difficulty identifying what they are
feeling.
—They minimize, alter or deny how they truly feel.
—They perceive themselves as completely unselfish and
dedicated to the wellbeing of others.
LOW SELF-ESTEEM PATTERNS:
—Codependents have difficulty making decisions.
—They judge everything they think, say or do harshly, as never
"good enough".
—They do not ask others to meet their needs or desires.
—They value others’ approval of their thinking, feelings
and
behaviors over their own.
—They do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile
persons.
COMPLIANCE PATTERNS:
—Codependents compromise their own values and integrity to
avoid rejection or others’ anger.
—They are very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel
the
same.
—They are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too
long.
—They value others’ opinions and feelings more than their
own
and are often afraid to express differing opinions and feelings
of their own.
—They put aside their own interests and hobbies in order to do
what others want.
—They accept sex when they want love.
CONTROL PATTERNS:
—Codependents believe most other people are incapable
of
taking care of themselves.
—They attempt to convince others of what they
"should" think
and how they "truly" feel.
—They become resentful when others will not let them
help
them.
—They freely offer others advice and directions
without being
asked.
—They lavish gifts and favors on those they care
about.
—They use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
—They have to be "needed" in order to have
a relationship with
others.
Passage is taken from the "big book" of
CoDependents Anonymous, pg.4-6.
|
