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JOLEENE
WOUK, DD
Spiritual Teacher
Ordained Minister
Addiction
Counselor
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What is Codependency?
These patterns and characteristics are offered
as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they
begin to understand co-dependency and may aid those who have been in recovery awhile in
determining what traits still need attention and transformation.
DENIAL PATTERNS:
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Codependents have difficulty identifying what they are
feeling. |
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They minimize, alter or deny how they truly feel.
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They perceive themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the wellbeing of others.
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LOW SELF-ESTEEM PATTERNS:
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Codependents have difficulty making decisions.
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They judge everything they think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough".
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They do not ask others to meet their needs or desires.
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They value others’ approval of their thinking, feelings
and behaviors over their own. |
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They do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons.
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COMPLIANCE PATTERNS:
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Codependents compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
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They are very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel
the same. |
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They are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
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They value others’ opinions and feelings more than their
own and are often afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of their own. |
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They put aside their own interests and hobbies in order to do
what others want. |
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They accept sex when they want love.
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CONTROL PATTERNS:
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Codependents believe most other people are incapable
of taking care of themselves. |
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They attempt to convince others of what they
"should" think and how they "truly" feel.
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They become resentful when others will not let them
help them. |
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They freely offer others advice and directions
without being asked. |
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They lavish gifts and favors on those they care
about. |
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They use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
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They have to be "needed" in order to have
a relationship with others. |
Passage is taken from the "big book" of
CoDependents Anonymous, pg.4-6.
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