5 Ways to Make Your Partner Your Best Friend
How to build a deeper, more meaningful relationship—every single day
Let’s be honest: life is busy. Between work, family, bills, and endless to-do lists, your relationship can easily slip into roommate-mode if you're not careful. But the strongest marriages and partnerships don’t just survive—they thrive—when friendship is the foundation.
Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, favorite person, and best friend. If you want a relationship that goes the distance, friendship isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Here are five simple (but powerful!) ways to build friendship, boost connection, and keep your relationship strong no matter how crazy life gets.
1. Greet Each Other Like You Mean It
Sounds basic, right? But many couples stop making an effort to connect after a while—and those small moments really matter.
Start with what psychologist Dr. John Gottman calls “five-minute connections.” Greet each other in the morning and when you reunite after work with a warm hug, kiss, or genuine “How was your day?” These moments may seem tiny, but they build a culture of care.
✨ Pro tip: Try a 20-second hug once a day. It releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), lowers stress, and helps you both feel more connected—literally.
Want to level it up? Send your partner a mid-day “thinking of you” text or give a quick forehead kiss when you pass by. These “quick connections” keep the spark alive, even on the busiest days.
2. Make Time for Small Talk—The Meaningful Kind
We’re not talking about who’s picking up groceries or what’s on Netflix. Real connection happens in the in-between moments—talking about dreams, fears, or that weird thing that happened at work.
Try setting aside 10–15 minutes a day for meaningful conversations. This could be at dinner, while walking the dog, or during a screen-free wind-down at night (just maybe not right before your partner falls asleep—looking at you, chronic pillow snorers 😴).
Ask questions like:
What’s something you’re looking forward to?
Is there anything weighing on you today?
What’s been inspiring you lately?
Daily check-ins like this keep you emotionally in sync—and remind your partner, “I still want to know you better.”
3. Praise Them Often (Way More Than You Think)
Think of appreciation like sunlight—your partner needs it to thrive. Without it, they may start wilting, even if they’re too polite to say so.
Studies show that couples in healthy relationships maintain at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. That means five kind words, compliments, or acts of love for every criticism or complaint.
Need help remembering? Try keeping a “praise journal” for a week. Jot down one thing you admire, love, or appreciate about your partner each day—and then tell them. Out loud. With intention.
It might sound cheesy, but it works.
4. Set Shared Goals + Know Your “Why”
You fell in love for a reason. Maybe it was their humor, ambition, heart, or the way they make everything feel like home. Don’t lose sight of that—and don’t stop dreaming together.
Create a shared vision—what some couples call a “Map for Our Life.” This could include:
Getting out of debt
Saving for a home
Traveling the world
Raising kind, thoughtful kids
Serving in your community
Set small, mutual goals and revisit them often. Knowing you’re building something together fuels a deeper sense of purpose and unity.
5. Keep Dating Each Other
Repeat after me:
“I dated to marry. And I married to keep dating.”
Date nights aren’t just for fun—they’re crucial for intimacy and friendship. Block off time weekly or biweekly and treat it like your most important appointment.
🎯 Get creative:
Try a new restaurant
Go axe-throwing or bowling
Take a dance or cooking class
Ask each other questions from the “36 Questions That Lead to Love” (yes, the viral ones from that famous New York Times article based on Arthur Aron’s research)
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection.
How to Be Lovers and Best Friends
If you want your relationship to go the distance, build it on friendship. Here’s your recap:
🕔 “Five-minute connections” to start and end the day
🤗 20-second hugs and small physical gestures
🧠 Daily small talk about hopes, fears, and dreams
🌞 Praise more than you criticize—aim for a 5:1 ratio
📍 Set mutual goals with a “Map for Our Life”
💑 Date to marry and marry to date
Friendship fuels connection. Connection fuels trust. And trust? That’s the glue that keeps your love thriving through every season.