How to Keep Your Inner Toddler in Check: Emotional Regulation for Grown-Ups
Let’s get something straight: temper tantrums aren’t just for toddlers. Sure, adults may not throw themselves on the floor at Target (hopefully), but emotional meltdowns? Still very real. They just look a little different—snapping at your partner, slamming the keyboard mid-Zoom call, rage-texting, or mentally checking out.
Here’s the truth: unregulated emotions don’t disappear with age—they just get louder in subtler ways. The good news? Anyone can learn to manage emotions better. It’s all about recognizing your emotional “toddler” before it gets hangry, overstimulated, or emotionally overloaded.
Emotional Tantrums: Not Just a Kid Thing
Toddlers lose it when they're tired, hungry, or overstimulated. Adults? Same deal—just with more caffeine and credit card bills. The difference is, adults are expected to self-regulate. But many never learned how.
Enter: emotional intentionality. This simply means becoming aware of what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and how to respond instead of react. And like parenting a toddler, it requires regular check-ins and preventative care.
PLEASE Mastery: Your Anti-Tantrum Toolkit
The science-backed skillset known as PLEASE Mastery (yep, it’s an acronym!) comes from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and is all about reducing emotional vulnerability. Think of it as emotional hygiene. Do it regularly and you'll keep your inner chaos gremlin in check.
✅ P + L = Treat PhysicaL Illness
Yes, it counts even if they’re squished into one letter. If your body feels off—headache, stomach ache, flu, cramps—deal with it. Being physically unwell makes emotional regulation 10x harder. Remember the last time you were cranky just because you didn’t feel good? Exactly.
💡 Pro tip: Don’t power through. Take the meds, drink the water, rest the body. Your relationships (and your group chats) will thank you.
✅ E = Exercise
We get it—sweating isn't everyone's idea of a good time. But movement matters. Studies show that regular physical activity reduces stress, boosts mood, and increases emotional clarity. Even 15 minutes of walking or dancing it out in your kitchen can calm the storm.
💡 Feeling snappy? Get your heart rate up, even for a few minutes. Then check back in with your brain. Odds are it’ll be a little less shouty.
✅ A = Avoid Mind-Altering Substances (Sometimes)
This isn’t about being anti-anything. It’s about awareness. If alcohol, weed, or even caffeine tends to make emotions more intense or less predictable, maybe don’t lean on them when you're already in a fragile state. And if your prescribed meds seem to mess with your mood? Talk to your doctor. Knowing how your body reacts to different substances gives you power over how you show up emotionally.
✅ S = Balanced Sleep
Sleep deprivation turns even the chillest person into a walking temper bomb. The magic number for most adults is 7–9 hours a night. Prioritize it like your favorite playlist: daily and without apology.
💡 If you’re consistently cranky, overreactive, or emotionally foggy? Check your sleep habits first. It’s not always deep—it’s just rest.
✅ E = Balanced Eating
Not just what you eat—but when and how. Skipping meals, bingeing, or fueling only with sugar and caffeine is a recipe for emotional chaos.
As one internet legend once said:
“If you think everyone hates you, you probably need sleep.
If you think you hate everyone, you probably need food.”
💡 Listen to your body. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full, and feed yourself things that don’t just taste good, but feel good later too.
✅ Master(y) = Do Something That Makes You Feel Accomplished
Every day. Seriously.
This doesn’t mean launching a business or crushing your 5K time—it could be making your bed, reading a chapter of a book, or practicing a hobby. Whatever gives your brain a subtle flex and says, “I’ve got this.”
💡 Even five minutes of “mastery” tells your nervous system, You’re capable. That confidence then trickles into how you handle stress, frustration, and everything in between.
Why This Works
Learning to regulate emotions isn’t about pretending you're chill all the time. It’s about catching the wave before it crashes.
Practicing PLEASE Mastery helps reduce emotional volatility by keeping your body and brain in sync. It teaches you to treat emotions like signals—not threats. And over time, it makes you less reactive, more grounded, and—bonus—way easier to be around.
You Can Outsmart the Tantrum
Grown-up meltdowns happen. But they don’t have to control your life (or your group text). Try PLEASE Mastery to keep yourself in check:
✅ PhysicaL illness – treat it
✅ Exercise – move your body
✅ Avoid substances that mess with your emotions
✅ Sleep – get enough of it
✅ Eat balanced meals regularly
✅ Mastery – do one thing daily that makes you feel capable
Because emotions aren’t the enemy. But ignoring them? That’s how tantrums happen.