How to Avoid Love Flooding Before You Get Engaged đź’Ťđź’Ą
So you’re thinking about getting engaged—cue the butterflies, the daydreams, and maybe a Pinterest board or two. It’s an exciting chapter, and honestly, it should be! But before you dive headfirst into ring shopping and save-the-dates, let’s talk about something that’s super common (and super sneaky): love flooding.
Just like a wave of anger or embarrassment can hit you out of nowhere, love can do the same. You’re feeling all the feels, the connection is 🔥, and suddenly you’re making big life decisions at lightning speed. But here’s the deal: overwhelming emotions + impulsive decisions = potential regret later on.
Don’t worry—you can absolutely stay madly in love and make smart, confident choices about your future. Here's how to avoid love flooding as you head toward engagement.
❤️ First, What Is Love Flooding?
Love flooding happens when intense romantic emotions cloud your judgment. You feel so into someone that you might skip over important conversations or red flags. Think of it as emotional tunnel vision. It’s not a bad thing—just something to be aware of so you don’t make decisions on vibes alone.
💡 Tip 1: Know What You’re Really Committing To
Sure, you might feel like you know your partner inside and out—but have you actually talked about:
How you'll handle money?
Whether you both want kids?
What "faithful" means to each of you?
How you’ll divvy up chores?
What your long-term career or travel goals are?
Now’s the time to have real convos—not just assume you're on the same page. Try searching for “questions to ask before marriage” online (trust us, there are a lot), and turn it into a fun date night. Make it a game—who knows the other best?
Bonus: You might feel even more confident about your relationship once you’ve covered some deeper topics.
✍️ Tip 2: Set Clear Expectations
Ask yourself:
Why do I want to get married? What do I think marriage will look like day to day?
Then, ask your partner the same.
It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of marriage—date nights, cozy mornings, matching luggage—but marriage is also laundry, stress, conflict, and big life decisions. That doesn’t make it bad. It just means your expectations need to match reality.
Take the time to reflect on what you want your relationship to feel like five or ten years from now. Then talk about those hopes honestly with your partner. Expectation clarity = fewer surprises later.
🙋‍♀️ Tip 3: Take Time Alone (Yes, Even When You’re Obsessed With Each Other)
We get it—you’re in the “can’t-get-enough” phase. Every minute spent apart feels like a lifetime. But here’s the thing: space is healthy, especially when you’re making major life decisions.
Spend an afternoon solo—go for a walk, hit the gym, read a book, or just journal. Ask yourself:
Am I excited about marrying this person as me, not just because I feel pressure or excitement?
Do I feel confident about this future with or without outside opinions?
If the answer is yes—amazing. If not, it’s okay to slow down and think things through. Engagement isn’t a deadline. It’s a decision.
🎓 Tip 4: Keep Learning
Getting engaged isn’t the end of your relationship growth—it’s just the beginning. The best couples treat their relationship like a living, breathing thing that needs care, intention, and constant learning.
Whether it’s listening to a podcast together, reading a book on communication, or following a relationship blog, keep feeding your connection. The more you know about healthy conflict, shared values, love languages, and relationship roles, the more prepared you’ll be for life after the ring.
Stay In Love. Stay Smart. đź’«
Falling in love is magical—but marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Avoiding love flooding doesn’t mean being cold or overly logical. It means pairing your love with clarity, honesty, and confidence.
So before you say “yes” to the dress (or the proposal), ask the deep questions, get clear on your expectations, take a breather, and keep learning. That way, you’ll walk into engagement knowing you’re not just caught up in the moment—you’re building a future that actually works.
P.S. Want more pre-engagement and marriage prep tips? Check out relationship podcasts, communication quizzes, and relationship checklists to stay grounded and in love.
You've got this. ❤️