Adjusting to Divorce: Stay Connected and Get Smart About Money
Imagine this: you’re cruising down the highway, music up, minding your business—and BAM—a giant green kayak flies off a trailer and barrels toward your windshield. That was my real-life “plot twist” moment, and somehow, it’s the perfect metaphor for what divorce can feel like.
You’re cruising through life... and then, without much warning, you’re swerving into a new lane: the divorce lane. The cruise control’s off, the road feels unfamiliar, and everything’s happening way too fast.
If you’re navigating a divorce, especially in the early stages, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it. Let’s talk about two key ways to steady the ride: staying connected and getting your money in order.
1. Don’t Go Radio Silent: Stay Connected
One of the biggest post-divorce challenges is isolation. Research shows that many people feel disconnected from friends, family, and community during the first year after separation. But here’s the deal—social support is your secret weapon for healing and thriving.
Here’s how to keep your connections strong:
🔹 Phone a Friend
Regular brunch dates, movie nights, or spontaneous coffee runs can go a long way. Make plans—even when you don’t feel like it. Connection isn’t about pretending you’re okay; it’s about not going through this alone.
🔹 Join a Support Group
Divorce support groups are like emotional pit stops. Whether in person or online, you’ll meet others who get it—and that kind of shared experience can be healing.
🔹 Volunteer Your Time
Helping others can be surprisingly powerful. Volunteer at an animal shelter, food bank, or local charity. You’ll be around people, gain perspective, and feel good doing it.
2. More of a Solo Rider? That’s Okay Too
Not everyone processes change the same way. If you’re more introverted or just not feeling super social right now, you can still beat the isolation blues.
Try These:
🎸 Pick up a dusty hobby—learn guitar, draw, paint, or build something cool.
🏃 Hit the trail—get outside and move your body. Nature and movement are mood boosters.
🧘 Explore mindfulness—apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress.
🖥️ Go into the office (if remote life is too isolating). Being around people—even without deep convos—can make a big difference.
3. Budget Like a Boss
Here’s a truth bomb: your financial reality post-divorce is likely different. Most people experience a significant income drop or increase in expenses after a split.
But here’s the good news: the first year post-divorce is actually when most people stick to their budgets the best. So if you start now, you can create powerful habits that will serve you long term.
💰 Set Up a Weekly Budget Check-In
Choose one day a week to check your bank account, track expenses, and adjust your budget. Make it a ritual—grab a coffee, play chill music, and dive in.
📂 What to Include in Your Budget:
Emergency savings (start small—$10 a week adds up)
Debt repayment
Monthly bills
Fun money (yes, you need this!)
Future savings (travel, holidays, etc.)
Use a spreadsheet or apps like YNAB, Mint, or EveryDollar to keep it organized and easy.
🧠 Why It Matters:
Creating a realistic budget helps you avoid emotional spending and stay in control—even when everything else feels chaotic. Think of it as your financial GPS.
Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This
Divorce might have shaken up your route, but it doesn’t mean you’ve lost direction. Staying socially connected and financially grounded can help you rebuild with confidence, clarity, and resilience.
Better yet? These practices open the door for stronger relationships, healthier habits, and a fresh start.
So breathe deep. Throw on your favorite playlist. And take the next right turn.