What Does Han Solo Have to Do with Attachment Styles and Stronger Relationships?
When The Force Awakens dropped in 2015, Star Wars fans were buzzing with questions: Where’s Luke? How many new Jedi are there? And—most importantly for romance lovers—what happened between Leia and Han Solo?
At the end of Return of the Jedi, Leia and Han seemed like the galaxy’s next power couple. But fast forward to The Force Awakens, and Han is flying solo again (pun fully intended). So what gives?
Believe it or not, Han Solo’s relationship style is actually a great example of something psychologists call attachment theory—and understanding your own attachment style could be the key to building stronger, healthier relationships here in this galaxy.
What Is Attachment Style, Anyway?
Attachment style refers to the emotional bond we form in close relationships. It’s shaped primarily by how we were cared for as kids—whether our emotional and physical needs were consistently met. But it doesn’t stop there. Experiences in past relationships, trauma, and even adult heartbreak can also influence it.
There are three primary attachment styles most people fall into:
Secure
Avoidant
Anxious
And yes, each one shows up big time in romantic relationships.
Secure Attachment Style: The Relationship MVP
People with secure attachment styles are basically the emotional Jedi Masters of relationships. They’re comfortable with closeness, handle conflict in a healthy way, and don’t freak out when their partner needs space—or extra support. They trust easily and are open about their feelings.
Think: stable, confident, and emotionally available. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who makes you feel both safe and free, you’ve seen secure attachment in action.
Avoidant Attachment Style: Enter Han Solo
Han Solo is the poster boy for avoidant attachment. He values his independence more than anything (even Leia). And when things start to feel too real, he pulls away—fast.
Avoidantly attached people often struggle with intimacy. They might avoid serious conversations, shut down during arguments, or have a hard time trusting others. They crave love but fear vulnerability.
Sound familiar? If you or your partner tends to keep one foot out the door emotionally, avoidant attachment might be at play.
Anxious Attachment Style: The Constant Checker-Upper
On the flip side, those with anxious attachment are often hyper-focused on the relationship. They worry about being abandoned, seek constant reassurance, and may feel panicked if they sense any emotional distance.
These individuals are quick to give love, but often question whether they’re receiving enough in return. It’s not clinginess—it’s anxiety born from inconsistency in the past.
Why Attachment Styles Matter in Relationships
Knowing your attachment style isn’t just some fun personality quiz (although, those are great too—more on that below). It’s a legit relationship tool. Research shows that attachment style can impact:
Relationship satisfaction
Conflict resolution
Emotional intimacy
Trust and communication
Understanding how you show up in love helps you better communicate your needs—and understand your partner’s too.
👉 Take a free attachment style quiz here to see where you land.
Can Insecure Attachment Change? Yes—And Here’s How
Good news: You’re not stuck with an avoidant or anxious attachment forever. With intentional work, therapy, and emotional support, you can absolutely become more securely attached over time.
One research-backed way to start? Gratitude.
Yup. Regularly expressing gratitude in your relationship can help reduce the effects of insecure attachment. Whether it’s a simple “thank you for always listening” or “I love how you support my dreams,” these affirmations build emotional safety and reinforce connection.
Han Solo probably could’ve saved his relationship if he’d just said “I appreciate you, Leia” a little more often. Just sayin’.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Your Love Life Go Solo
Understanding attachment styles won’t fix everything overnight—but it will help you make sense of your emotional habits in love. Whether you identify with Han’s avoidant vibe, an anxious overthinker, or the chill, secure type, self-awareness is the first step toward a stronger relationship.
And if you find yourself in a pattern that’s not working? Don’t panic. You can shift. You can grow. You can strengthen your connection—with the help of knowledge, effort, and maybe even a good couples therapist.
May the (emotional) force be with you.