10 Relationship Checkup Questions Every Couple Should Ask
Feel Like You’re Drifting Apart? Try a Relationship Checkup.
Between work, bills, scrolling, and stress, it’s easy for even the best relationships to run on autopilot. You might start feeling like roommates instead of romantic partners—or maybe you're just out of sync and don’t know why.
That’s where a relationship checkup comes in.
It’s not just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to stay connected, nurture emotional intimacy, and grow stronger together. Whether you're dating, engaged, or married, a check-in can be a powerful reset button.
And the best part? It only takes a few intentional questions to get the conversation started.
💬 10 Relationship Checkup Questions to Reconnect and Recharge
Start with what’s working. Focusing on strengths creates a safe and supportive space for deeper honesty.
1. What am I doing lately that makes you feel loved or appreciated?
2. What’s one of your favorite qualities about me?
Then explore satisfaction and connection in different areas of your relationship:
3. Are we happy with how we divide responsibilities—at home, with finances, or in life?
4. How do we feel about the frequency and quality of our sex life?
5. Do we feel close as friends? Are we enjoying meaningful emotional and intellectual connection?
Check in on emotional safety and attachment:
6. Do we feel securely connected to each other? What helps us feel like we’re each other’s “safe space”?
Now it’s time to gently open the door to growth. This is where trust deepens and real progress happens:
7. Is there something I used to do that you miss?
8. Is there something I do that you’d like me to shift or change?
Wrap up with action and repair:
9. What’s one small thing I can do this week to make you feel supported or cared for?
10. Are there any recent conflicts or hurts we still need to heal from?
Pro Tip: Don’t Skip the Follow-Through
Asking the questions is only the beginning. Set aside some uninterrupted time, put your phones away, and really listen. Even if everything’s going great, this kind of intentional check-in can deepen your bond and prevent future problems.
If you want to go deeper, consider exploring tools like the Gottman Relationship Checkup, which provides personalized insights and research-based recommendations to help you thrive as a couple.