Military Life Can Be Isolating—Here’s How to Build the Support System You Need
“Nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone.”
— Maya Angelou
Let’s be honest—military life can feel like a never-ending carousel of change. One minute you're unpacking boxes in a new duty station, the next your partner is off on deployment, and you're figuring out solo parenting, new jobs, and finding where the heck the good coffee is in your new zip code.
This is the second post in our 3-part series for military couples, and today we’re talking about something crucial: community. Because you weren’t meant to do this life alone.
Sure, the military offers plenty of programs and resources on paper. But when you’re knee-deep in stress and juggling life’s chaos, finding meaningful connection with others who “get it” can feel overwhelming—or straight-up impossible. So let’s change that.
Here’s your no-fluff guide to finding real connection and building a rock-solid support system as a military couple.
Why Support Systems Matter (Like, A Lot)
Research backs what military spouses already know in their gut: having a community of support lowers stress, reduces loneliness, and helps you emotionally survive the ups and downs of deployments and transitions.
Studies show:
Military spouses with strong social support report less emotional stress.
Involvement in spiritual or faith-based communities can ease anxiety.
Peer support groups help military spouses cope with separation, parenting challenges, and feeling like the only person in town who can’t explain acronyms like PCS or BAH to their neighbors.
But beyond the data? It just feels better to know someone has your back. Someone who gets it.
5 Real Ways to Build Your Military Support System
Let’s be real—you don’t need more things on your to-do list. So here are some simple (and surprisingly powerful) ways to find your people and create meaningful connection in this crazy, beautiful military life.
1. Join (or Start) an SFRG Group
📣 What it is: SFRG stands for Soldier and Family Readiness Group. It connects military families with their service member’s unit and with each other.
✅ Why it matters: You’ll hear important updates, meet other spouses, and get looped into social events and resources. And spoiler alert: your next military BFF might be one event away.
💡 Not sure where to start? Ask your partner’s leadership who the SFRG contact is. Or check your base’s family programs office.
2. Say Yes to Family Events (Even If You’re Tired)
Whether it’s a family fun day, BBQ, or movie night organized by the unit, go. Bring the kids. Wear something comfy. Eat the free snacks.
These low-pressure gatherings are where friendships often begin. A casual chat over cornhole or cupcakes can turn into playdates, shared rides, or a go-to text buddy when things get rough.
3. Live On Base (If It Works for You)
If you're given the option to live on base or in military housing, it’s worth considering. The sense of community is real. You’re surrounded by people living similar lives—people who understand the stress of pre-deployment or what it’s like to manage toddler meltdowns solo for 9 months.
It’s easier to connect when your neighbors are walking the same path. Plus: spontaneous driveway chats, shared babysitter recommendations, and someone who knows how to deal with Tricare? Priceless.
4. Get Involved in Local Groups (Online and IRL)
Don't wait for support to come to you—go out and find it. Some easy ways to plug in:
Facebook groups for spouses at your duty station
Instagram pages or hashtags like #milspouselife or #militarymarriage
Local fitness classes, churches, or clubs with military-friendly vibes
✨ Pro Tip: When you meet another military spouse, don’t just swap pleasantries. Ask if they want to grab coffee or go for a walk. Connection takes intention.
5. Be the One Who Reaches Out
Maybe you’re introverted. Maybe you’re brand new to this. Maybe you’ve been burned by flaky people in the past.
Still—try again.
If you feel lonely or disconnected, someone else around you probably feels the same way. Sometimes all it takes is a simple “Want to grab lunch this week?” to break the ice. You don’t need a huge circle—just a few solid people who understand this lifestyle.
Don’t Go It Alone
Military life is tough—but it doesn’t have to be lonely. Connection can make all the difference. So say yes to the invite. Join the group chat. Slide into someone’s DMs (platonically). Ask for help. Offer it. Be real.
Because the truth is, even the strongest among us need a crew to lean on.