Does Marriage Counseling Really Work? Here's What You Need to Know
Thinking about marriage counseling? You’re not alone. Many couples wonder if it’s worth the time, money, or emotional energy—especially if things aren’t that bad yet. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to wait until your relationship is falling apart to get help.
In fact, the earlier you go, the better.
Don’t Wait Until It’s a Crisis
According to renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, most couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before seeking help. By that point, resentment has built up, communication has broken down, and small problems have turned into major roadblocks.
But here’s the good news: couples who seek therapy before things feel hopeless have a much higher chance of success.
Why wait to feel better? Relationship counseling can help you:
Improve communication
Resolve ongoing conflicts
Rebuild trust and emotional intimacy
Learn tools to handle future disagreements better
What Kind of Marriage Counseling Works Best?
One of the most effective forms of couples therapy is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Backed by over 20 years of research, EFT has been shown to have a 75% success rate—meaning that three out of four couples report long-term relationship recovery. Even better? 90% say they see major improvement in their connection and communication.
EFT works by helping couples recognize emotional patterns, reconnect, and create secure bonds that last.
How to Get the Most Out of Couples Counseling
Want your counseling experience to actually help your relationship? Keep these tips in mind:
1. Find the Right Therapist for Both of You
Therapy is a vulnerable space—and both partners need to feel safe and heard. If the first therapist isn’t a good fit, don’t give up. Keep looking until you find someone who clicks with both of you. A comfortable connection with your counselor can make a huge difference in how much progress you make.
2. Be Willing to Do the Work
Therapy isn’t a magic fix. Your counselor can guide the conversation and offer tools, but they can’t do the work for you. That means:
Being honest and open in session
Taking responsibility for your part
Trying new communication strategies
Apologizing, forgiving, and repairing when needed
Couples who are committed to growing together are the ones who thrive—both in therapy and in life.
What If I Can’t Afford Marriage Counseling?
Cost is a real concern for many couples. If private therapy isn’t an option right now, here are a few alternatives:
Nonprofit or community centers may provide free or low-cost counseling.
Online courses and relationship resources can also offer skills and strategies to strengthen your marriage, even outside of therapy. Just make sure they’re backed by research and grounded in proven relationship science like the courses here at HealthyRelationships.org.
Final Thoughts: Is Marriage Counseling Worth It?
Absolutely—if you’re ready to show up and do the work.
Whether you're feeling disconnected, stuck in a communication loop, or just want to grow closer, marriage counseling can give you the tools you need to reconnect and thrive. And the sooner you start, the better your chances of success.